Bangkok Calling

Five Weeks. That's all the time that has passed since I stepped off the plane, and in 24 hours, I'll be stepping on another one to go make home for myself in the city of Bangkok, the largest in Thailand.

The first wave of classes are done, ones that pumped us with information on the GMS (The Greater Mekong Subregion = not to brag, but one of the things I learned). I'm happy for the reprieve we have from homework, considering many nights during this first chunk were spent up late, slowly slipping into homework-induced delirium.

But I also feel a simmering terror within me as I think about tomorrow, when I will once again be submerged into the depths of the unknown for the next month of my life. With one other girl, I will be working with an organization in the city that of many of the things they do, one is supporting refugees and immigrants who have come to Thailand. Also, we'll get to work underneath a woman in the organization who started her own business of selling the food she makes herself. For a couple of years, refugees have been on my heart, and I think they have been on everyone's radar because of the media on the Syrian refugee crisis. I have researched opportunities to work with refugees, but none have worked out, until this one emerged as an opportunity for practicum - the month long time of learning through direct experience with organizations. That's why I'm so grateful that God fulfilled what He put on my heart, that He is sending me here to be able to learn.

I remind myself that I won't be able to grasp the true scope of the issue, considering everyone has a different story, but I hope to understand at least a small chunk of what it means to be a refugee or immigrant from people who are refugees and immigrants. Right now, all I know is what the media tells me. I hear people's debates about whether refugees deserve asylum or should be thrust aside as a threat. I remember that the Jesus whose identity covers my own once had to flee his land as a refugee.

These are the thoughts that swirl around in my head, combined with the nerves I feel, and just a dash of exhaustion. I chose to come to Thailand to be pushed out of my comfort zone, and I can say without a doubt that this objective has been achieved. The tricky truth about zones of comfort is that they are not stagnant. What is comfortable for me now was not comfortable for me four and a half weeks ago, so I have to keep chasing the end of my comfort zone.

My first week here, I rode the wave of pure adrenaline and took pride in my stamina as one who usually tires out quickly. But I quickly learned that my well of strength does not reach deep enough, and it's true, I have given in to bouts of complacency. It's tempting to say, "Because I did this the other day that made me uncomfortable, I don't have to make the effort today." I will be honest: my fear is that I will tire out quickly. I'm afraid that I will focus so much on myself that I will forget that I'm called to push beyond my comfort in attempts to grow that of others'.

In 24 hours, I will board a plane to a place I've never been, but I will try my hardest to leave my fears behind. God called me to Thailand and has taken care of me here. I know that He has called me to Bangkok, so He will take care of me there as well.

As I face the struggle of exhaustion, I will try to remember verses like these:

7 The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him.

8 The LORD is the strength of his people, a fortress of salvation for his anointed one.

- Psalm 28:7-8

As I face the struggle of anxiety, I will cling to verses like these:

6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

- Philippians 4:6-7

When I am tempted to see the differences in others as a reason to withdraw, I will remind myself of verses like these:

16 and in one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility.

17 He came and preached peace to you who were far away and peace to those who were near.

18 For through him we both have access to the Father by one Spirit.

19 Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God’s people and also members of his household,

- Ephesians 2:16-19

And when I want to snap in irritation or withdraw and take care only of myself, I will return to verses like these:

8-12 Summing up: Be agreeable, be sympathetic, be loving, be compassionate, be humble. That goes for all of you, no exceptions. No retaliation. No sharp-tongued sarcasm. Instead, bless—that’s your job, to bless. You’ll be a blessing and also get a blessing.

Whoever wants to embrace life and see the day fill up with good, Here’s what you do: Say nothing evil or hurtful; Snub evil and cultivate good; run after peace for all you’re worth. God looks on all this with approval, listening and responding well to what he’s asked; But he turns his back on those who do evil things.

Bangkok, here I come!